Pages

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Crazy Weather


This is the craziest weather ever! Last week we started out in the 30's and by the end of the week had 80's then today it is back to the 30's and more snow!!! The last 2 weekends Jenae and Aubree got to hit the rodeo trail with Kyle. They were in Madison Wisconsin 2 weekends ago and last weekend they were in St. Paul Minnesota. Both rodeos we have friends that live near by and they spent a night at each of their places. From what I hear a great time was had by all. Whitney and I went to Mom's for the weekend. I sorted through some boxes of keepsakes. It was fun to look through stuff and reminisce. I threw a lot of stuff away so it was nice to have a chance to sort without having Jenae and Aubree trying to keep stuff I wanted to pitch! Danielle and her boys came to spend the day Saturday and Erin and the kids were out Sunday. Also my Uncle brought my Grandma over for the afternoon. It was a busy day, but it was so nice to see everyone.

Jenae taking Domino for a spin.

Aubree taking her turn on Domino.

Jenae & Aubree washing Kyle's pickup before they took off for the weekend. 

Brooke, Whitney & Jace going to see the bottle calf.

Brooke, Whitney & Jace saying "hello" to the calf.


Brian giving Allyx on my Dad's horse Doc.


Jace having fun in the dirt!


Friday, April 26, 2013

Catching up

The couple weeks follow Easter have been full of ups and downs for me emotionally. 

I have had all range of emotions from being very very sad to feeling happy. So sad that I will never see my Dad's face or hear his voice on earth again.  So sad the will not be there to see his grand kids graduate from High School or watch them get married.  So sad that my girls do not get to hear the stories from their Grandpa's childhood that they loved to hear so much.   My heart longs to have him back here with us.  Then I get to the happy thoughts  I am so happy that my Dad is currently experiencing  so much joy & happiness living in the kingdom of God.  I have been reading a lot about Heaven lately & it sounds so wonderful that I just can't wait to get there to join Dad.  Knowing the beauty & wonderfulness of Heaven, I know it is my own selfishness that wants Dad back here on Earth with us.  I do not have to watch my Dad get old & live a disabled life.  Dad really did live his life until the moment he died.  There is something so cool in that.  I think most of us if we had a choice of how to depart from our life on earth we too would choose to live life fully to the end.  Not confined to a hospital bed or living our our final days in a nursing home. 

I also have never felt so a lone yet so loved at the same time. My Dad was my rock in life.  No matter what you go though in your lifetime it is your parents that have your back like no one else does.  It is that true unconditional love a parent has for a child.  Knowing I can not call him to talk me through a tough time, just knowing that he is gone & can't be here to help when when I need him is so hard.  Someday when I am feeling a little stronger, I will write about "That's what parents are for" discussion I had with my Dad just weeks before he passed away.   As  alone in this world as I feel with out my Dad, I also feel the love of so many who have reached out to me & just been there for me.  I love my Mom, Siblings, Aunts, Uncles  & Cousins so much.  It is in times like this when you realize how important your family is to you.  The community of Chambers, my co-workers, my church family & my friends have all been so supportive offering kind words, prayers, cards & meals.  I could go on & on with the kindness I have been shown these past 5 weeks.  It is truly humbling. 

I feel a lot of regret for not spending more time with Dad.  I never dreamt in a million years that at age 34, I would no longer have him here with me.  Life is busy & I am guilty of letting the busyness of life interfere with taking time to spend it with loved ones. There was more I wanted to do with him.  With the feelings of regrets I do also feel contentedness.  I am grateful that I made my home only 1 hr & 20 minutes from my parents not 6 or 7 hours away so I was able to go there or meet up with them once a month.  Since being married & living in Chambers I had a goal of  trying to see them once a month.  There are a few times in the almost 12 year time span that I didn't manage to do so, but am I thankful for the time that I did spend with Dad. 

That is a little ride on my roller coaster of emotions :-)

This has been the longest winter. April has felt more like early March.  We have had ice storms, snow storms, wind & rain most of April.  I think the kids had more snow days in April than all other months combined this year.  We are all thankful for the moisture, but I am so ready for warm weather.  I think there is finally light at the end of the tunnel.  Monday started off with highs only in the 30s & O'Neill got 5 inches of snow.  I am guessing Chambers got close to that also.  By Sunday it is supposed to be 80!  Only in Nebraska does it go from a snows storm to swimming weather all with in a week's time! 


Here are 3 weeks worth of pictures.  Hopefully I am caught up now!
Tyson with his Grand Parents.

Tyson & his First Communion.  He is growing up so fast & is such a sweet boy.  I am so proud to be his Aunt & his God Parent.   Jenae is sure since I am his God Parent, then she is God Sister :-)

Danielle & her family.


Ice Storm 2013

Ice Storm 2013

Ice Storm 2013
Aubree holding "Dolly"  My Dad's first love was his horse Dolly.  She was a paint pony that he spent much of his childhood with.  He loved to tell the grand kids stories from when he was growing up & they loved to hear them.  He was such a good story teller.  Aubree loved to hear his story about Dolly & then Dad would show her his replica of Dolly. I wanted a picture of my girls with the pony they heard so much about.

Jenae with her picture with Dolly.

Finally getting the Winter/Spring Birthday's celebrated!  Brooke (6) Jenae (9) Cooper (5)






Love trying to get 12 kids 9 & under in  a picture together!




Multi family Huge garage sale!  It was so cold & yucky outside, but everyone managed to have fun.  It was my Aunts, cousins & siblings that have this sale every year.  The date was set several months ago that the sale would be April 20th.  It was just 1 day shy of being 1 month since my Dad passed away.  My Aunt Connie said it best "this was just another God thing,  It was meant for us to all be together that weekend to help with the healing process."  I couldn't agree more.  3 of my Aunts & my cousin Heather spent the night at Mom's that night.  It was so nice to just have some good laughs & story time with them. 





Jace, Jaxson & Whitney having a snack at Aunt Erin's house.  What a fun little bunch of 18 month old kiddos ;-) 
They are all trying to figure out how to play together. 

We made good use of Heather spending the night at Mom's house.  Whitney got a long over due haircut. 
The Forre Family out for Dinner at the County Club in Albion.  We all had a nice time enjoying each others company after church on Sunday.  The food was really yummy too!



God's promise rainbow.  No matter what storm comes our way, God promises to be right there with us.  So nice to see a physical reminder of his promises to us. 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Easter

I supposed I should get back to blogging.  I will be totally honest that I have had no desire to blog this month.  I know down the road I will want to look back and read about this time of my life, so here I go....back to blogging!

Easter Sunday was a really hard day for me.  We went to Church in the morning then to Chip & Marilyn's for dinner.  Church I was an emotional mess the entire service.  Seeing my Church family for the first time was so nice.  The part about being part of a small church that I love is that everyone there knows me & everyone knew what I was going though.  So I didn't feel bad shedding some tears; there were so many people there offering kind words of encouragement and hugs.  When I was at Chip & Marilyn's for dinner I sat there with Kyle's parents & sister's family eating our dinner & realized I would never again be able to do that with my parents.  I was so sad, I missed my Dad so much that day & I just longed for one more family gathering where we could all be together again. 



Kyle & girls going off for a Spring ride  Aubree was on Domino, the pony my Dad had bought 3 days before he passed away.  He is now part of our horse herd & I am really hoping to work with Aubree on him & get her riding to progress.  Jenae loves to ride him & I think he will be a good 4-H horse for her.  He will always have a very special place in my heart. 

Whitney fining Easter Eggs at the town Easter Egg Hunt.

Aubree sprinting across the park looking for eggs.

Jenae's last year finding eggs at the park for the town Easter Egg Hunt.

Whitaker grandkids on Easter Sunday.  Love this picture!!! 

Happy Trey & Whitney with the newest member of the Whitaker Ranch Matilda!

Having fun with Matilda.

Whitney & Chase


Kids looking for eggs.

Whitney found an egg.


Whitney enjoying her chocolate bunny ;-)

Monday, April 1, 2013

My Dad, Trail Boss

I took this picture of my parents 1 1/2 years ago when we went up to visit Lacey.  It was such a fun day.  Mom & Dad had come out to my house to help get bunk beds set up for Jenae & Aubree.  We didn't have the bolts we needed to finish the bunk bed project.  They were wanting to run up to Lacey's to see her for her birthday & we stopped in O'Neill to pick up the rest of the supplies we needed to finish the bunk bed project.  I would not have rode along if they would not have been planning to come back to my house to finish their project & I would not have gotten this cool picture of my parents.  Funny how things all work out the way they are supposed to!


I feel like these past 10 days have just been a blur.  I still have so much hurt in my heart & I miss my Dad so much.  I know my emotions are raw yet & in time they will heal, but for now it just hurts.  I don't hurt for Dad, I know where he is & I am at peace with knowing that. I also know God is in control of everything in our lives, good & bad, and I am choosing to live in Faith & know this is part of the almighty plan.  Knowing all this does not make missing Dad hurt any less, but helps me get through the day. 

The love & support that has been pouring into our family is helping us get through this difficult time.  So many have went out of there way to lend a helping hand, or offer kind words about my Dad all of which I am so grateful.
Writing about my Dad does help with the grieving process.
Here is what I read at my Dad's funeral.  It was therapeutic for me to write this.  I made me laugh & cry all at the same time. 
Head ‘em up….Move ‘em out
          “Only one thing certain about a trail drive is the uncertainty.  The expected never seems to happen.  The surprise is always popping up, most of the time bringin’ trouble.  When it hits there’s no countin’ on somebody else to handle it.  That’s my job, mine alone.  I’m Gil Favor, trail boss.”
          My dad enjoyed watching westerns on TV and Rawhide was his all-time favorite.  This past year I was sitting with Dad while watching Rawhide and my dad told me from little on Gil Favor was his favorite character and how watching Gil on Rawhide helped shape him into the person he turned out to be.  I too enjoy Rawhide and really did notice a lot of similarities between Gil Favor and my dad when I stopped to think about it.  Dad was the trail boss of our family and I would like to share a few similarities between Gil Favor and my dad.
          First off, Gil knew the value in having a good, reliable ramrod: someone who was trustworthy and shared his same values and work ethic.  Well, my dad found himself one heck of a ramrod when he married my mom 38 years ago.  Mom and Dad were really two peas in a pod.  They did almost everything together and they worked so hard to keep the family going in the right direction.  Dad and Mom had the marriage most people only dream about.  They did not agree on everything, but much like Gil and Rowdy they would come to an agreement by both giving a little and doing what was in the best interest of the family.
          To be a good trail boss you need to be able to lead and take charge.  Giving good directions is a must.  Dad was the most detailed person I know and if he delegated a task to you he gave very direct orders on what he wanted done.  He wanted things done the right way—that was the only way for Gil and Dad.  They both knew while taking a short-cut might appear faster, taking the time to do it right was the most efficient way to handle any situation.  I can still hear my dad saying, “If you are going to do something, do it right.”  It didn’t matter if it was a school paper, a wood-working project or training a colt, it was important to do
it the right way.
          Being able to solve problems along the way was critical for a good trail boss.  If they ran into a situation that would jeopardize the well-being of he herd or his men, he needed to be able to handle the pressure and think through the situation and come up with a solution to fix the problem.  Dad could handle the pressure when things got tough.  he was able to think clearly in times of trouble and take care of what needed to be done.
           A few years ago when my daughter Aubree was on a life-flight from O’Neill to Children’s Hospital in Omaha, the helicopter did not allow parents to ride on the flight so Kyle and I made the 3 ½ hour trip by car.  Dad called ahead to my Aunt Vicki who was a nurse at Children’s Hospital to let her know what was going on. Then Mom and Dad left Newman Grove when the life-flight left O’Neill, and they got to the hospital right when the helicopter did.  Vicki was able to pull some strings to get them to be able to be with Aubree until Kyle and I could get there. 
          This experience was probably one of the scariest time in my whole life, but my dad was a rock.- strong and solid the whole time.
          Dad had an answer for everything.  If I ever asked Dad a question, he would never reply with an “I’m not sure” or “Do whatever you think”.  It may not always be the answer others liked, but none-the-less it was the answer.
          A good trail boss knows the value of a dollar and is very careful to conserve resources so the herd wouldn’t run out of money before the cattle reached market.  Driving cattle across dry, dusty land was hard work- as is farming.  When you work hard for your money you must be practical with it.  Dad did not need the fanciest equipment, but it was good enough to get the job done right!
          A trail boss must be a great horseman and know the value in owning good horses.  My dad was a wealth of knowledge in the horse world.  He read articles and watched horse training shows on RFD on a daily basis.  He wanted what was best for his animals and never quit trying to learn new techniques in working with horses.  Dad took better care of his animals than himself- nothing but the very best quality hay and feed money can buy.  He bought good horses for us to use.  They had good solid minds with lots of potential to be what we wanted them to be.  Then he provided us with the tools and helped us all along the way to make them into great horses.
          Gil and my dad were fair and honest.  Another saying Dad said was “treat others the way you want to be treated” and Dad really did live that way.
          Dad and Gil Favor both knew in life you must expect the unexpected and be prepared for whatever comes your way.  He could think ahead and have solutions for potential problems.  He was known in our family for putting together fist-aid kits for hauling horses.  They included Banamine,  gauze, vet wrap, and syringes- all put together in an orderly fashion.
          Safety of your men on a cattle drive is a must.  The trail-boss never left a man behind in times of trouble. Dad was the same way with his friends and family.  We all knew we could count on him for anything, and I really do mean anything. If Dan Forre was your friend, you knew he would be there for you.  He watched out for the well-being of the family.  I am pretty sure he would still check the air in my tires when I would come to their place for a visit!
          The appearance of the crew was also the responsibility of the trail boss.  It was important for the drovers to reflect well on the entire outfit.  Any one who knew my dad would know how important a clean appearance was to him.  I do not recall ever seeing my dad in dirty, wrinkled clothes.  His barn and shop were almost sparkling.  The windshields on every vehicle and tractor were cleaned regularly and he noticed if I came tooling in the yard with a dirty windshield.
          Now it has come time for out trail-boss to move on, just like Gil did, and it is the ramrod’s turn to take the reins.  Our ramrod has 38 years of training and I know she is ready for her new job in our family.  Dad did his part and has left her with a great crew to work with.  Our crew has grown from a family of 6 to a family of 21.  He has left a legacy in his 12 grand kids that thought the world of their
 Grandpa Dan.
          I look forward to the day when we will all be together again.  Until that day we will keep them little doggies movin' on.
Head ‘em up…Move ‘em out