Catching up

The couple weeks follow Easter have been full of ups and downs for me emotionally. 

I have had all range of emotions from being very very sad to feeling happy. So sad that I will never see my Dad's face or hear his voice on earth again.  So sad the will not be there to see his grand kids graduate from High School or watch them get married.  So sad that my girls do not get to hear the stories from their Grandpa's childhood that they loved to hear so much.   My heart longs to have him back here with us.  Then I get to the happy thoughts  I am so happy that my Dad is currently experiencing  so much joy & happiness living in the kingdom of God.  I have been reading a lot about Heaven lately & it sounds so wonderful that I just can't wait to get there to join Dad.  Knowing the beauty & wonderfulness of Heaven, I know it is my own selfishness that wants Dad back here on Earth with us.  I do not have to watch my Dad get old & live a disabled life.  Dad really did live his life until the moment he died.  There is something so cool in that.  I think most of us if we had a choice of how to depart from our life on earth we too would choose to live life fully to the end.  Not confined to a hospital bed or living our our final days in a nursing home. 

I also have never felt so a lone yet so loved at the same time. My Dad was my rock in life.  No matter what you go though in your lifetime it is your parents that have your back like no one else does.  It is that true unconditional love a parent has for a child.  Knowing I can not call him to talk me through a tough time, just knowing that he is gone & can't be here to help when when I need him is so hard.  Someday when I am feeling a little stronger, I will write about "That's what parents are for" discussion I had with my Dad just weeks before he passed away.   As  alone in this world as I feel with out my Dad, I also feel the love of so many who have reached out to me & just been there for me.  I love my Mom, Siblings, Aunts, Uncles  & Cousins so much.  It is in times like this when you realize how important your family is to you.  The community of Chambers, my co-workers, my church family & my friends have all been so supportive offering kind words, prayers, cards & meals.  I could go on & on with the kindness I have been shown these past 5 weeks.  It is truly humbling. 

I feel a lot of regret for not spending more time with Dad.  I never dreamt in a million years that at age 34, I would no longer have him here with me.  Life is busy & I am guilty of letting the busyness of life interfere with taking time to spend it with loved ones. There was more I wanted to do with him.  With the feelings of regrets I do also feel contentedness.  I am grateful that I made my home only 1 hr & 20 minutes from my parents not 6 or 7 hours away so I was able to go there or meet up with them once a month.  Since being married & living in Chambers I had a goal of  trying to see them once a month.  There are a few times in the almost 12 year time span that I didn't manage to do so, but am I thankful for the time that I did spend with Dad. 

That is a little ride on my roller coaster of emotions :-)

This has been the longest winter. April has felt more like early March.  We have had ice storms, snow storms, wind & rain most of April.  I think the kids had more snow days in April than all other months combined this year.  We are all thankful for the moisture, but I am so ready for warm weather.  I think there is finally light at the end of the tunnel.  Monday started off with highs only in the 30s & O'Neill got 5 inches of snow.  I am guessing Chambers got close to that also.  By Sunday it is supposed to be 80!  Only in Nebraska does it go from a snows storm to swimming weather all with in a week's time! 

Here are 3 weeks worth of pictures.  Hopefully I am caught up now!

Tyson with his Grand Parents.

Tyson & his First Communion.  He is growing up so fast & is such a sweet boy.  I am so proud to be his Aunt & his God Parent.   Jenae is sure since I am his God Parent, then she is God Sister :-)

Danielle & her family.

Ice Storm 2013

Ice Storm 2013

Ice Storm 2013

Aubree holding "Dolly"  My Dad's first love was his horse Dolly.  She was a paint pony that he spent much of his childhood with.  He loved to tell the grand kids stories from when he was growing up & they loved to hear them.  He was such a good story teller.  Aubree loved to hear his story about Dolly & then Dad would show her his replica of Dolly. I wanted a picture of my girls with the pony they heard so much about.

Jenae with her picture with Dolly.

Finally getting the Winter/Spring Birthday's celebrated!  Brooke (6) Jenae (9) Cooper (5)










Love trying to get 12 kids 9 & under in  a picture together!





Multi family Huge garage sale!  It was so cold & yucky outside, but everyone managed to have fun.  It was my Aunts, cousins & siblings that have this sale every year.  The date was set several months ago that the sale would be April 20th.  It was just 1 day shy of being 1 month since my Dad passed away.  My Aunt Connie said it best "this was just another God thing,  It was meant for us to all be together that weekend to help with the healing process."  I couldn't agree more.  3 of my Aunts & my cousin Heather spent the night at Mom's that night.  It was so nice to just have some good laughs & story time with them. 





Jace, Jaxson & Whitney having a snack at Aunt Erin's house.  What a fun little bunch of 18 month old kiddos ;-) 
They are all trying to figure out how to play together. 


We made good use of Heather spending the night at Mom's house.  Whitney got a long over due haircut. 

The Forre Family out for Dinner at the County Club in Albion.  We all had a nice time enjoying each others company after church on Sunday.  The food was really yummy too!



God's promise rainbow.  No matter what storm comes our way, God promises to be right there with us.  So nice to see a physical reminder of his promises to us.